A Sidney Christmas

Christmas was great this year and I really mean it. I never had much luck with the holidays but this year made up for a decade. There was just five of us for Christmas dinner. The same five we had for Thanksgiving. And of course, Sidney. Our meal consisted of lasagne, baked ham, green beans and Greek dishes that Steve's mom made. Well, to make a long story short, the wid was very, very, very bad. It was before we reheated the spanakopita (spinach pie). I let it sit on the table cause the stove top was full and the oven was not yet available to warm the lasagne and the spanakopita. I went upstairs. I forgot for what but I heard Steve yelling. When I came downstairs to see what the commotion was, I realized that Sid had eaten the spanakopita and some of the baklava. Steve was furious. I wasn't. I almost snicker sometimes when he's bad, I'm not sure why. I love him when he's being naughty too.

Voice of Sid: *rolling laughter; holding belly* Wooo! Guys, I had the best christmas dinner ever. All day long I was getting yummy treats. Things I'd never tasted before like the spinach pie I stole off the table when no one was looking. I'd been policing the situation for hours and when the girl went upstairs I knew my chances for getting at the pie had doubled. I got the hollering of my life when the guy found out. I ran all the way into the living room and hid behind our guests. Guy was so mad. *snicker*. But I got some pie :) *lick lips* The guy wanted to throw me out of the house but the girl wouldn't let him. She put the leash on me and brought me to the spare bedroom. They left me there for hours. It was dark in there and not much to do so I caught some Zzzzz's. It was a good, refreshing nap. If that's all the punishment I get then I'm gonna do this again! Yeah!! :P

Please do not read any further if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: It was a first for me yesterday. I'll just say it. Sid shit a mini monument. It's base got lodged in the snow and so his log was standing upright. It was so funny. It was like the tribute one. Most of his piles have been composed of dark nuggets. Not too bad.

Pink Frisbee

We picked up a few things from Petsmart just hours ago. Steve got the two fishes, gold fishes. He's been wanting them since I got him that aquarium for his birthday. He's so excited by them. And though I will most likely not blog about fish poop, I would like to take part in the observation of them. Perhaps in the future they can become occasional featured stories like if they do something spectacular like crap the rainbow or something. Anyway, we picked up Sid's Christmas toys. Two things: A pink frisbee and a christmas ee long'ish dog I think. Just like I let Steve open his birthday present up early, I let Sid have one of his. I gave him the pink frisbee.

Voice of Sid: *nibble* Hi! *nibble* *rip* (Voice of Grace: Sid isn't thinking at the moment. He's just gnawing on that pink frisbee like there's no tomorrow. There are bite-size marks ripped off the side. He's being very possessive of it. Very. He won't even bring it to me. And this boy tried to play with him but he wouldn't let go of it. It wasn't a pretty seen. His prey drive is sooo strong!)

*Please do not read any further if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: Yesterday, Sid made six doodie mcnuggets. They didn't even melt through the snow. They're still sitting on top of the snow. Picture that.

First Snowfall

It's this year's first big snowfall. I always look forward to it because Sid loves it so much. I love watching him run around in circles and all around like a maniac. He gets snow on his nose and on his coat. He looks amazingly cute. If it's possible to swoon over a dog's delight, then I'm definitely swooning. Steve & I haven't let Sid run free yet because we were worried that he'll take off. Unfortunately, I left the really, really long leash in the trunk of the car that's completely buried in the snow. Sid will have to wait until we're physically and mentally able to take him out. You have to be prepared for anything. A chase, serious anxiety provoking coaxing. Jumping around trying to get his attention. And scream at him if he starts doing icky things.


Voice of Sid: The cold, white stuff is falling from the sky again. It feels nice when the flakes drop on my nose. It smells so fresh and clean. My humans fell asleep for hours and didn't take me out. I had to hold it in for a really long time. When the girl finally came downstairs, I flew to the door. I peed in the walkway because the girl wouldn't come out of the doorway. I had no choice. Then later, I made a nice pile in the cold snow. The cool of the snow touched my bung hole. A ha ha ha! *arruff*

*Please do not read any further if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: I had the pleasure of watching Sid take one in the snow. Though I didn't see it, I just know it steamed up as it hit the snow. It melted the snow instantly. I couldn't see it laying in the snow. It was buried far beneath. I'll know to avoid the area based on his paw tracks. I'm going to try to get a better look at his mass tomorrow. I fed him pizza crust the other day and I wanna know how he makes out. Concerned parent or not!

In My Face

Steve came home and farted in Sid's face.

Voice of Sid: The guy came home and farted in my face.

*Please do not read any further if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: Mostly balled nugs. If they were perfectly round like, hmmm..what animal? Guinea pigs poop pellets. I think rabbits or is it deer that poop balls. Anyway, if they were smooth balls, I'd be very impressed and proud of my boy. I'm still proud of him. No matter what, he makes a minimum of two piles per day. He's a good bowel eliminator.

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

We always manage to go to the laundromat when it's raining. Usually we get lucky and it breaks up just as we're putting the laundry into the car and then again when we come home. Tonight we weren't so lucky. It was raining hard and the top layer of clothes got wet. Then Steve couldn't find his blackberry and he freaked out. I had to take Sid out for the night so I put Steve's big, black jacket back on and headed out with Sid on the leash. I wanted to let him out alone, but Steve was afraid he'd run and get hit by a car. And he does have a bad track record for running away during the rains. (It's because we used to let him out alone when we didn't feel like getting rained on.) So there I am, Sid on the leash, telling him to go potty and all he does is stay very close to me. Perhaps trying to take cover under my big, black jacket. Well, we both got pelted. He was all soaked when we came back in. I felt bad cause I could take my jacket off but he couldn't. He looks cute all wet. Reminds me of how much he loves swimming and how great it is to witness. Well, Sid didn't do anything outside. He'll have to hold it in until tomorrow morning.

Voice of Sid: Weeeeee! My human took me out in the rain and I got soaked. Why did she do that? *exhale* I didn't give her the signal to go out. She and the other guy came home from *sniff* the laundromat and she said 'outside, let's go.' So I went even though I didn't really want to. I sorta had to go but not bad. And what's with the leash in this rain? What did she think I was gonna do? Run away? *snicker*. I feel good. *aaarrrufff!!!* Yes, it feels good to be a wet, stinky dog. Mom kept petting my wet fur and then sniffing her hands. And I heard her say, Mmmmmm as dad complained about how disgusting wet dog smell is. *ahhh roor!!!*

*Please do not read further if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: I remember saying to myself. Grace, remember this. Remember what it looks like. And I can't. I think it was impressive enough for me to want to remember. I don't mean to keep track of Sid's daily outputs but it takes up many minutes of the day, every day. So I started observing more and more and made notes to myself. Next thing I know, I can't stop making mental notes. So, sorry there's no update today. I'm too pooped to remember. Pooped. Ahahaha. Get it? Of course you do because you have a brain.

I'm So Spoiled

It's true. I spoil Sid. I really shouldn't unless they're healthy'ish treats but I love feeding him. I usually give him a little human food mixed into his dry food which is Nutro natural choice. Then I have Nutro maxx mini bones biscuits and freeze-dried liver treats. He goes crazy for that stuff. We jokingly used to call it puppy crack when we used them to train him. We got the idea from our vet. They keep cookie jars full of the stuff. And at every visit, Sid gets treats for being a good boy. We've been using it as a tool to keep him still while Steve clips his nails. Anyway, I give him those treats and they're considered good. If I give him carrots or apples or watermelon, I don't feel bad. But if I give him a tortilla chip, I don't feed great about doing that. But I get pleasure out of watching him eat it. *crunch*. This morning I had to give him a little plop (like 1/4 cup) of 1% cottage cheese to get him to eat. Yes, he does that now. He won't eat his dry food unless there's something to go with it. He's been known to eat his dry breakfast at 3pm. So yes, I'm a spoiler of dogs. I used to do the same thing to my dead cat Graham. He loved to eat. Absolutely loved it. From fruit to veggies to meat to pizza. He loved it all and had a great appetite. Most of his life, he weighed over 16lbs. (He was big boned *giggle*.) Back to Sid. He's eating a napkin right now and I don't feel like dealing. I'm going to ignore him for now.

Voice of Sid: I'm slowly training my human. She gets better year after year. When I was a young pup, I never got to eat human food. My dad said, dogs eat dog food so I didn't get spoiled even though my mom wanted to. Maybe it was because I had so many belly problems then. Everything gave me diarrhea. Sometimes uncontrollable. As I got older, mom would sneak me treats and I savored every moment with delicious human food. They get to eat that while I eat this dry, dry, dry and hard stuff. Now my humans know. I refuse to eat unless it's supplemented. *nose up in air*

*Please stop reading further if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: He's been pooping little balls lately. They're about the size of Planter's cheese balls. Remember those? They used to come in a can/container. I loved them but I can't find them anywhere now. Okay, the piles. Last night he made one at the edge of the lawn and a nug rolled onto the driveway. I was horrified. Well maybe not horrified but I pictured tires rolling over it or worse, a shoe stepping on it and it smearing all over the place. Then the person who stepped on it has to deal with cleaning it. And the stink is so terrible. I haven't stepped in dog poo in a while but I remember it clearly. Now that I've talked about it, I'll probably step in some *sigh*.

Morning Routine

I remember when Sid was just a puppy. We used to have to take him out like fifteen times a day and he'd still have accidents, frequently. He didn't get fully potty trained til like a year. He did, however, improve greatly after six months. Anyway, since his puppyhood, he has demonstrated excellent bowel control. I usually take him out twice in the morning. Once before he eats and once again afterwards. He usually takes advantage of both opportunities. There are times, however, that he fakes me out. I'll take him out because of the signal gives me. ( He puts his front two paws on the chair closest to the door - elevating the top portion of his body - when he wants to go out.) We trained him to do that so we wouldn't have to bend over to put his leash on. When he wants to go out is the key. He usually doesn't try to use this tool to his advantage and go out like ninety times a day. But sometimes, it happens when he wants to go out and not necessarily when he has to do the deed. It takes a trained eye to tell the difference. When I take him out and he does nothing, I get frustrated. Especially when he does the lingering thing when it's raining or otherwise precipitating.

Voice of Sid: Oh man, I had to take such a crap this morning. I was giving her the signal but she kept ignoring me. So I ran back into the living room and played around. Sometimes when my human takes me out to make my piles, I wait for a really long time 'til she gives up on me and wants to take me back inside. Sometimes I let her and sometimes I go as soon as I sense that she's getting mad at me. I fight at the door to stay out and she lets me have my last few moments that I use to poop. I especially love the way my human gets when I do this when it's freezing and/or raining out. She gets mad and she says: Inside! And I hop into the house, put my paws up on the chair, she takes off my leash and then I get a treat just for coming inside. My human is so well-trained. I am proud of her :P

Please do not read any further if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: I've been feeding Sid less human food and more dry dog food in hopes of getting his GI tract back in shape. It's working. His outputs are more uniform and his segments are well-rounded instead of torn. Today's featured a very little taper piece. (That would be the last segment to exit his anus.) It looked like a large, lightly colored chocolate chip. Are you ready to dry heave? :)

In The Way

Steve was surfing through some channels last night looking for a good movie to watch. Sid kept getting in the way of the remote. He stands right in front of the satellite receiver so no matter where you are, you can't access it. Steve starts screaming "Honey!". I coaxed him over to me and then he went right back in front of the receiver. When Steve yelled, "Honey!" the third time, Sid went into a down position. He's on the couch next to Steve now.

Voice of Sid: Ha ha ha! I played a trick on my bigger human today. He was trying to watch TV and I stood right in front of it. I smiled at him and then he yelled at me. I was feeling naughty and kept smiling and staring at him. He kept yelling and he was getting all red in the face and I kept smiling. I went into a down only when I thought he was gonna stand up and shoo me away. I don't think he got my joke.

*Please stop reading if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: Ok, I just took him out and he made a decent pile. In detail. In order of output. A 4" segment, 1" segment, 2" segment then a final 3" segment. And he did a fair (not too much - dribbled instead of squirted) amount of spritzing.

Ya know how they have those anal glands and stuff. I never knew about that before Sid. I thought he was having a problem with his ass. And one day he couldn't stop attacking his ass and we brought him to the vet. They 'expunged' his anal glands. Squirted all over the floor. I asked the vet if this usually takes care of itself and she said yes (and made me feel like I wasted $). I think she sensed that and added, sometimes it gets clogged or stuck or something. So now when I see him attacking his ass I don't stop him cause I figure he needs to suck out his anal liquid. *laugh* Oh goodness, I'm so gross!

Sid & His First Chardonnay

The darndest thing. I was actually having a glass of white wine chardonnay in a wine glass. *nose up in air* Anyway, as I was looking at Steve's computer screen, Sid came and took a few laps of my wine. (Ok. I'm lying. I saw him out of the corner of my eye but I was very curious and wanted to see his reaction.) I didn't even research whether or not dogs can tolerate a small amount of alcohol. Oh dear. Anyway, he licked his lips, went over to the couch - continuing to lick his lips - then he made hoarse coughing noises. I thought, oh my god! I killed my dog! Then he stopped and continued to lick his lips. I thought he didn't like it at all, however, he came over once again and looked at the wine glass. I'm bad again. I let him have a few licks. He licked his lips again but didn't cough. Steve is giving him some loving now. Sid always looks at me funny when Steve's petting him. Anyway, that's Sid's first chardonnay.

Voice of Sid: I had a strange experience today. My human had a glass filled with something. I got curious and went over. She was spacing out and tilted the glass slightly and it happened to line up perfectly with my tongue :P *friendly woof with a smile* :) I tasted it when she wasn't looking. It was weird. It smelled weird but I kept lingering over the glass. It wasn't that tasty but it made me feel nice. And it made my mouth all tingly. After I finished coughing my brains out, I went over and my human let me have another little lick. It didn't make me cough. But I still felt tingly. *burp*

*Please stop reading if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: His fecal consistency is more or less back to normal. His tapering is not bad but we've got to get his nuggets and segments back in shape. They still tear. Sid hasn't had a good one in a while. It's my fault that I spoil him with human food.

When Sid was in obedience school the instructor said do not feed him turkey unless and I forget what she said exactly...but something about a fire out of his ass. So what did I do? I fed him turkey and she was right. (He'll still get turkey next year but less of it.)

What's a pizzle?

Thank goodness we had turkey to feed Sid last night. We'd run out of dog food earlier that day. So today we had to go to the Feed Barn (local pet suppy store) and stock up on his Nutro natural choice dry food, nutro maxx mini bones and we got him a pizzle. Steve picked it up. It was about 12" long and really hard. It looked like all the other chewy sticks and such by the cash register. Anyway, Steve grabbed it and asked the cashier what is was.

Steve: "What's a pizzle? Is it like the bull's tail?
Cashier: *pause* Uhhh, it's a little more personal than that. *blush*

Okay, so despite knowing what it was we still got it because the cashier said that dogs go crazy over it. And we believed him. Steve presented it to Sid at home and he took it to the living room. He hasn't done a thing since. I tried to encourage him to play with it, to chew it but he wasn't having that. I tried. *shrug*

Voice of Sid: My humans left me home alone all day today. *grrr* I sat in the living room, on the couch and didn't move the whole time. I fell into a deep sleep and when I woke up my humans came back and brought me a gift. Oh boy, I love gifts! I love stuffed animals but they don't buy them for me anymore because my human says I eat them too fast like in five minutes. So this gift. My human told me it's like something that rhymed with bull stick. When I smelled it, my first thought was - I'm not gay. I'm not touching that thing no matter how much my human taunts and teases me with it. It was nice of them for trying. I love my humans!

*Please stop reading if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: Yes, the thanksgiving dinner caught up to him this morning. It was the wettest pile I've seen him make since he was a puppy and got belly aches. It was like a dark chili without beans but with corn. Eeewee! *dry heave* And he squatted like four times but only once more with output. A very little, sickly output. Steve said he did the same thing tonight and got mad at me for feeding him so much human food :)

My Yummy Thanksgiving

It's just past 11p and Steve & I are winding down. We're listening to classic rock off of Youtube. There was just five of us for Thanksgiving plus Sid and Grey cat. Sid was well behaved for him. There was a long table of appetizers and he didn't touch any of it. Not one chip even. Then during dinner, he didn't go around begging for scraps. He was so good that I gave him a nice sized bowl of dark & white meat turkey, skin, corn & peas. Thank goodness we had leftover turkey for both him and Grey cat. Grey cat woofed hers down. Not as fast as Sid did though. He was out of the kitchen and back to the dining room really quickly. Oh, he didn't jump up on anyone. I was surprised by that, too! Now he's sprawled out on the couch, full as a bull and ready to sleep. So that in a nutshell was Sid's thankgiving dinner.

Voice of Sid: Woo! What a fun day I had and I didn't even go crazy. *pant* I wanted to but for some reason I didn't. Everytime I passed the big, white table in dining room, I smelled the most wonderful things. *inhale* And I know I smelled tortilla chips! It was the first kind of chip I 'stole' from the Fourth of July barbecue. When my human approached me with my bowl of food, I was ready to eat a whole cow. It smelled so good and I wanted to savor every bite but once I started eating, I couldn't stop. I just kept eating and eating. Mmmm. I licked my lips like ten times afterwards. I wish my human gave me a bigger portion :( But it's thanksgiving and I'm thankful for what I got and my humans who love me :)

*Please do not read further if you find fecal matter offensive!

Doodie Update: I wish I could give one. It was dark out and I missed my chance to witness his thanksgiving output. I was upset by this. But I had high hopes that it was big with well-formed, lengthy segments. I don't even think he had tapering difficulty. He didn't linger. I will take a look at it tomorrow. I know where it is.

Pieces of Paper

I don't know what it is with Sid, but we can't seem to break him of the habit of stealing socks. He usually tears holes in it. So far though, Sid hasn't eaten a hole in Steve's good socks. He still steals them out of the bedroom, but he doesn't damage them. Maybe he knows better. Steve is very particular about his socks. His favorite socks are called 'smart wool' hiking socks. They're made of merino wool.

Oh, there's another thing we can't seem to break him the habit of doing. And that's stealing napkins or wrappers or anything of that nature - he tears them into little pieces. I can hear him from the kitchen doing it. Sometimes he eats the napkin and I manage to get it out of his mouth half the time. Thank goodness he stopped ripping peoples clothes and scratching them with his big, rough nails. Alright. He hasn't completely stopped jumping up on people. He gets excited for the first few minutes and doesn't listen very well. Then he finally and more quickly (with age) lies down and chills. He's chewing his favorite red crate now. The crate will come up from time to time.

Voice of Sid: I was wired today! I loved it! Sometimes my humans are so much fun. Today, I stole a napkin - shredded it to pieces - *snicker* and didn't get busted for a long time. Then later, I saw a candy wrapper and I stole that too. They caught me right away. *shucks!* I was sorta bummed. I could've played around with them more and really made them mad but for some reason I let them get away with it this time.

*Please stop reading if you find fecal matter offensive!!!

Doodie Update: Twice now this week, Sid's nuggets were 'kabobed'. In other words, he had somehow ingested one of my hairs and his nuggets came out looking like a string with balls attached. The nugs were broken. There were torn pieces. He didn't do well in the tapering department either but at least nothing was hanging out of his ass like last time. Yes, one of my hairs again. This update has been exceptionally disgusting.

The Nap Surprise

I woke up at 7a and I was way awake. I did some stuff and did a lot of pacing around before I sat down. Then I started to get tired and decided to take a nap. I just woke up from the nap and when I came downstairs, Sid was sprawled all over the couch looking as comfortable as can be. Steve worked from home today because he wasn't feeling well. He thought Sid was up in the bedroom with me because it was so quiet in the living room.

I'm a little bummed. I woke up early cause I passed out around 10:30p last night. And I missed all of it! Apparently Sid fell asleep in the bed (king size) with me. When Steve came upstairs, he didn't kick Sid out of the bedroom as he usually does. So my darling little boy and Steven and me were all in the same bed sleeping last night. By the time I woke up Steve and Sid had gone downstairs. I didn't even know Sid slept with us all night until Steve told me. I'm so bummed. I would've loved to have seen that. I love it when Sid sleeps with me.

He usually sleeps downstairs in the living room and "protects" the house. Really, he's just cozied up and comfy. We have a pellet stove in that room and it keeps it mighty toasty.

Voice of Sid: My human was really tired last night. I followed her up to the bedroom cause the door was actually open. That nasty Grey cat wasn't there. I don't think my human noticed me there even though I'm like 80 lbs. I'm a pretty big boy they tell me. (They also tell me that I'm handsome *smile*.) So anyway, when the taller human with the deeper voice comes to bed, he usually throws me out of the room. But, last night he let me stay. Yey! I was so psyched. Sleeping in bed with my humans is a special treat and I'm happy.

*Please stop reading if you find fecal matter offensive!

Doodie Update: Sid made two piles within a minute apart. The first was ok. Nothing fancy or interesting. Then he made a little one and the second piece was nicely tapered.

The Deer Chase

So the other day I'm taking Sid out and we're about to head in when he spots some deer in the neighbor's yard. I had him on a leash so I wasn't worried. Just as I was thinking that, he lunged and the leash went flying out of my hand. I called after him but it was just too late. He was into mode and on the trail. I ran after him into my neighbors yard. Steve's mom's yard. I asked her if she saw Sid and she said, 'I think I may have. All I saw were two little black ears flying through the woods.' That made me laugh but I was really worried. A little more worried than usual because the leash was still attached to him. I was afraid he'd get snagged on something and get stuck or get kicked in the head by a deer.

So I'm out in Steve's mom's yard screaming his name every two minutes and squeaking his toy nonstop for over a half hour. Steve's mom hops in her car and goes around the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a big, black german shepherd. And nothing. Then she gets a phone call. I thought it was from one of the people she'd talked to - I thought she must've given them her phone number. But it was Steve. A lady found him. His phone number is on Sid's tag.

Apparently, he ran all the way through the woods, past church property and onto the property of a distant neighbor whose sister we happened to be good friends with - small world. I was so happy to see Sid and he looked cute in a big ole SUV. She said he was sitting at her doorstep as she was about to leave the house. I figured he exhausted himself. Didn't know where he was and stopped into the first house he saw. He was panting like crazy when he got home and didn't stop for like a full ten minutes. I was mad at him but more worried and relieved then anything else. So that's the dog tale!

Hidden Treasure

I just went on a neighborhood walk with Sid. It's a little over a mile long. Not too bad. Anyway, way off to this person's side lawn, there was a white thing popping out from the grass. As I looked closer, I saw that it was a wiffle ball. Then I did something bad. I encouraged Sid to steal the ball. I told him that it was his toy. He carried it back all the way to the house (looking mighty cute of course) and now he's promptly destroying it. Nibble, nibble. I started to feel bad about it and decided I'd return it to its spot the next walk. Too late now. I'm having feelings of guilt. I probably stole some small child's toy. And he could be spending days crying and searching for it. I'm so bad :)